Heart Song
by TomorrowNeverCame
Summary: I've been thinking about writing so many Jibbs songfics lately, so instead of posting them all seperately they are going to appear as chapters in this ongoing collection. Spoilers warning! Rated K to be safe. Many genres will appear.
1. Introduction

**Hey everyone!**

**Wow, I've been finding a lot of Jibbs songs lately so I've decided that instead of just posting a bunch of one-shots I'm going to post all my Jibbs songfics under this collection. I only have a few now, so this is going to be on-going. If anyone has any song/story suggestions I always love to hear them!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any NCIS characters unless otherwise stated nor do I own any songs that may appear in my stories. **

**Spoilers for JD and Hiatus coming up, possibly more later!**


	2. Pale Part1

**Okay, this is my first songfic, so hope you like it! The song is **Pale **by my all time favorite band ****Within Temptation.**** I seriously recommend listening to the song, if you like Evanescence you will love this. I was listening to this and I thought it would be a perfect song for a little JD rewrite.**

* * *

_The world seems not the same_

_Though I know nothing has changed_

_It's all my state of mind_

_I can't leave it all behind_

_I have to stand up to be stronger_

She felt the pain of bullets rip through her and managed to shoot the last man before falling to the ground herself. She had come into the diner knowing she wouldn't walk out, and had already accepted her fate. But lying here now, she regretted it; she wasn't ready to die. The pain was horrible; she could almost feel her life flowing out.

_(Chorus)_

_I have to try_

_To break free of the thoughts in my mind_

_Use the time that I have_

_I can say goodbye_

_Have to make it right_

_Have to fight_

'_Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile_

_That the pain that I feel slowly fades away_

_It will be alright_

Jethro. She was leaving him again without even a goodbye, save for the unfinished letter in her office. Did he really deserve that? If nothing else, she owed it to him to say goodbye. She loved him, and he would never know how she felt, and if she died here, she would never know if they could have had a second chance. Could she go without knowing? Or maybe it was better, not to know if she would've destroyed their fragile friendship by telling him.

_I know_

_I should realize_

_Time is precious_

_It is worthwhile_

_Despite how I feel inside_

_Have to trust it'll be alright_

_Have to stand up to be stronger_

_(Chorus)_

What did it matter, anyways? She would be dead in a few years; months, if she didn't respond to the treatment she was on. But maybe, she could at least spend it with her team, her family. It was cruel, leaving Tony and Ziva with this guilt. Just then, she would give anything to take it back; go home and be with the people she loved, for however long she had left. But it was to late now, all she could do was hope they'd be okay.

_Oh, this night is too long_

_Have no strength to go on_

_No more pain, I'm floating away_

_Through the mist I see the face_

_Of an angel, calls my name_

_I remember, you're the reason I have to stay_

She couldn't keep her eyes open any longer, she was so tired. Distantly, she heard a car rapidly approaching but knew they'd be too late. The pain was gone, her mind hazy, and she thought she could see her father. She started to go to him, he was calling for her. A noise from behind her made her stop and she turned to see Tony and Ziva, they were storming the diner. The look on Ziva's face when she saw Jenny's body…… Then there was Abby, and she realized she was seeing the future, Ducky had just told her and McGee the news. Jethro was last, and his expression made her heart break all over again. She couldn't go, she turned back to her father and he nodded.

_(Chorus)_

_I have to try_

_To break free of the thoughts in my mind_

_Use the time that I have_

_I can say goodbye_

_Have to make it right_

_Have to fight_

'_Cause I know in the end it's worthwhile_

_That the pain that I feel slowly fades away_

_It will be alright_

She was suddenly back in her body, and could hear the car right outside. She needed to hold on, for her family, the man she loved, and herself. If she could just hang on for a while longer, she knew it would be alright.


	3. Memories

**Okay, this is my second installment into my new series and I am very proud of myself for updating this so quickly. This song is **Memories **by ****Within Temptation****. **

**Warning: spoilers for Hiatus (which it is set after)**

* * *

_Memories, memories, memories_

_In this world you tried_

_Not leaving me alone behind_

_There's no other way_

_I'll pray to the gods: let him stay_

_The memories ease the pain inside_

_Now I know why_

Jenny sat in her office and stared out the window, swirling the bourbon in her glass before taking another sip. This day had been hard for her, for all of them, with Gibbs. She remembered the rush of joy when she heard that he remembered everything, and then the crushing sadness when he told her he was leaving. She'd pleaded with him to stay with her; not out loud, of course, but she knew he could see it in her eyes.

_(Chorus)_

_All of my memories_

_Keep you near_

_In silent moments_

_Imagine you'd be here_

_All of my memories_

_Keep you near_

_The silent whispers, silent tears_

_Made me promise I'd try_

_To find my way back in this life_

_I hope there is a way_

_To give me a sign you're okay_

_Reminds me again_

_It's worth it all_

_So I can go home_

They'd slowly been getting back their friendship since she became Director, and she'd been getting to know the team, too. She saw how hurt they were when Gibbs left and knew she couldn't dwell on her pain; she had to try to act normal and help the team deal. She just wished she knew, though. She needed to know he was alright, that Mike was helping him cope. She thought of the past few years, of laughing and fighting and just talking with him. These thoughts were all she had left.

_(Chorus)_

_All of my memories_

_Keep you near_

_In silent moments_

_Imagine you'd be here_

_All of my memories_

_Keep you near_

_The silent whispers, silent tears_

_Together in all these memories_

_I see your smile_

_All the memories I hold dear_

_Darling you know I'll love you till the end of time_

Jenny thought back farther, to a time when they had been much more than friends. She shed a tear as she remembered how happy they'd been, and how she'd ruined it all. Now she knew what it felt like to watch someone walk away, it hurt. Could she have made Jethro stay if she'd told him how he was hurting her? Would he have stayed, if he knew how much she loved him?

_(Chorus)_

_All of my memories_

_Keep you near_

_In silent moments_

_Imagine you'd be here_

_All of my memories_

_Keep you near_

_The silent whispers, silent tears_

It didn't matter much now that he was gone. She'd always known him better than anyone and she knew he'd be back. But until then, she'd have her memories to keep her sane.

* * *

**So? Love it? Hate it? I love the chorus for this and tried to make the rest of the lyrics work, it's a beautiful song. Please review everyone, really, I got 104 hits on this story yesterday and only 2 wonderful people reviewed!**


	4. Bittersweet

**Wow, okay I don't know what it is but I've just been in a very one-shot mood lately, so I hope this compensates for the lack of updates on my chapter stories. The song is **Bittersweet **by the wonderful ****Within Temptation.**** It's going to jump between Jenny and Gibbs and is set pre-series, post-Paris, like right after. **

* * *

_If I tell you  
Will you listen?  
Will you stay?  
Will you be here forever?  
Never go away?_

He'd thought about telling her many times since they'd become lovers. Telling her about his lost wife and child. She was different, hadn't tried to fix him the way his exes had; she had accepted how he was and loved him for it, because she was like that too, she had her own demons. He had wanted to tell her but he was afraid she would doubt him, doubt how much he really loved her, wonder if she was only a replacement, worry that she was like the others he'd been with after Shannon.

_  
Never thought things would change  
Hold me tight  
Please don't say again  
That you have to go_

A bitter thought  
I had it all  
But I just let it go  
Hold your silence  
It's so violent  
Since your gone

She had left a week ago; taken a job offer, wrote a letter, got on a plane, and never looked back. Until now. Now she was unsure and heartbroken and alone. Why had she really done it? The job opportunity had been to good to pass up, a once in a lifetime shot, but she was also confused. He hadn't asked her for anything permanent and she didn't know whether she was happy or sad. She knew he loved her, and she loved him more than she herself knew; he made her feel so wonderful, but that scared her too. She knew what it felt like to have those you loved taken away and had seen him hurt more times than she wanted, and she knew that any day one of them might die. She just wasn't ready to face that fact and know she might be the cause of it. She ran to find the Frog, she ran to protect herself from heartbreak, she ran to keep Gibbs safe from her mistake, and she'd run to feed her own ambition. With him she'd had everything she wanted. If only she'd realized it then. _  
_

_All my thoughts are with you forever  
Until the day we'll be back together  
I will be waiting for you_

If I had told you  
You would have listened  
You had stayed  
You would be here forever  
Never went away

The sweetest thought  
I had it all  
Cause I did let you go  
All our moments  
Keep me warm  
When you're gone  


He still thought about her, even all these months and a new wife and divorce later. And he still wondered, why had she left? Was it something he did? Or didn't do? Was it because he'd been afraid, and not told her about his family, that she'd left? When all along he'd been worried that she would leave if he did tell her. Deep down he knew he should have told her, that she wouldn't have been anything but happy that he'd let her in. She would have understood and mourned with him. But he had been too proud to tell her, refusing to accept any pity, never willing to admit the memory still hurt him. He knew her leaving was his fault too, at very least he could have gone after her, asked her to explain and give them another chance.

_  
All my thoughts are with you forever  
Until the day we'll be back together  
I will be waiting for you_

They still loved each other, however much they tried to deny it. They still wondered everyday what might have been if they could redo it all. They knew they had made mistakes, done things that couldn't be simply taken back or wished away. But also knew that, given the chance, they would do everything they could to make it right. So they would wait forever, loving each other long after they died. Never giving up their love even when there was no chance for a happily ever after.

* * *

**Wow, that was very depressing to write. Hope you liked even though it was sad. I got 4 reviews from the last chapter, and I am requesting at least 6 more reviews before I post again. The last part kinda starts before she was Director and ends with being after JD, if that makes sense.**


	5. Somewhere Part2

**Yay! So here's my next songfic! I am still very disappointed; I only got 2 reviews for the last chapter! Oh well, :( To the people who have been reviewing, I hope you like this one as much as you've liked the last few!**

**Since you guys asked for it, I've decided that this is going to be part 2 of my first story, **Pale**, and will have a part 3 coming up.**

**The song is **Somewhere **by ****Within Temptation****. Yeah, I guess you've all figured out by now that I really LOVE Within Temptation, huh?**

* * *

_Lost in the darkness_

_Hoping for a sign_

_Instead there's only silence_

_Can't you hear my screams?_

He was sitting alone in his basement, again. On his way to getting drunk, again. Both of these things seemed to be happening increasingly since she died. It was almost two weeks exactly since Jenny had died, taking part of his already broken heart with her. He'd asked for time off and had spent the days in his basement, only leaving to visit her grave once in a while, praying that he would wake up from this nightmare.

_Never stop hoping_

_Need to know where you are_

_But one thing's for sure_

_You're always in my heart_

_(Chorus)_

_I'll find you somewhere_

_I'll keep on trying_

_Until my dying day_

_I just need to know_

_Whatever has happened_

_The truth will free my soul_

He was going back to work in a few days, he wasn't actually feeling ready but there were some things that he wanted to check out. Something just wasn't adding up and he couldn't shake the feeling there was something Franks hadn't told him. He knew it was impossible, he was probably going crazy, but he'd made up his mind. He was going to look for her; he didn't care how long it took, because somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he would find her.

_Lost in the darkness_

_Tried to find your way home_

_I want to embrace you_

_And never let you go_

_Almost hope you're in heaven_

_So no one can hurt your soul_

_Living in agony_

'_Cause I just do not know_

_Where you are_

The team was worried and probably rightfully so. Gibbs didn't stay at work long; he just came in for a few hours, snapped at everyone, did some things on his computer, and left. Everyone had tried to talk to him, but couldn't help; they could never know what he was going through. Sometimes, when he thought about her injuries, and what he'd learned about her illness, he almost hoped she was dead. He didn't want to imagine the pain she would be enduring if she had survived.

_(Chorus)_

_I'll find you somewhere_

_I'll keep on trying_

_Until my dying day_

_I just need to know_

_Whatever has happened_

_The truth will free my soul_

_Wherever you are_

_I won't stop searching_

_Whatever it takes me to know_

He was so close now, after finally enlisting Abby's help. He'd gotten a look at the case report done by Vance, and after some convincing had gotten Ducky to show him the autopsy report. There were little things, too many little things. He needed to talk to Franks, so he booked a ticket to Mexico. His team fully approved, he needed to get away; even he himself wasn't sure he wasn't just imagining this, but he needed to be sure.

_(Chorus)_

_I'll find you somewhere_

_I'll keep on trying_

_Until my dying day_

_I just need to know_

_Whatever has happened_

_The truth will free my soul_

* * *

**Soooo? How'd you like? I know, it's not my best, but I still like it. Remember, review!!! 1) no reviews, no updates 2) reviews are like Caf-Pow! and you wouldn't deny Abby her Caf-Pow! would you?**


	6. Forgiven

**I'm back! Gosh, I'm so sorry, I know I haven't written anything in forever!**

**This song is ****Forgiven**** by **Within Temptation** (wow, really have to broaden my range, huh?)**

**Special thanks to **Levana Fay** and **HesMines **for actually reviewing this!**

* * *

_Couldn't save you from the start  
Love you so it hurts my soul  
Can you forgive me for trying again  
Your silence makes me hold my breath  
Oh, time has passed you by_

He had always known. Somehow, deep down, some part of him knew they wouldn't last, even though he desperately wanted them to. She was the only person he had loved since Shannon, she was special, his soulmate. Still, she left. When she came back, he told her he missed her, trying to show her how he still felt. He asked her to give them another chance; he could see how she was torn. Part of him knew there would never be a happily ever after for them. Still, he clung to his hope while he waited for her response and afterwards, trying to at least be her friend. He would always remember the first time he saw her after those many years, their first few moments of being reunited. She hadn't changed a bit.

_Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world  
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own  
Here I am, left in silence  
_

He had comforted her many nights, when she would have nightmares or after a tough case. He hated seeing her like that. He wanted to protect her from her pain, but he couldn't. It was something she had to do alone.

_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven  
_

She had left him, and part of him understood her reasons. But a larger part was angry at her for not trying, for thinking that she had to do things all on her own, that she had to follow her plan if she wanted to be successful. Now, months later, he had stopped hating her and stopped trying to forget her completely. It was too hard, everything reminded him of some time with her or something she would do. He thought about her often, where she was, what she was doing. It hurt to think she might be with someone else; in his mind, and heart, she would always belong to him.

_I watched the clouds drifting away  
Still the sun can't warm my face  
I know it was destined to go wrong  
You were looking for the great escape  
To chase your demons away_

The days passed in a blur those first few weeks; he took no notice, lost in his misery. He should have seen it; they were star-crossed from the moment they met. He had wondered, of course, not believing that he had finally found someone who he would be happy with. He thought this was different. Well, this time it wasn't him who ended it.

She was haunted. She loved him, and of course she had wanted to stay and be happy, but he wasn't part of the plan. And some things had to be sacrificed; she had to find The Frog, her father's killer, that came first and foremost in her mind. She couldn't pass up an opportunity to further her career, to get more resources and the power she needed to take him down. However much it hurt.

_Oh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world  
Oh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own  
And here I am left in silence _

You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven

I've been so lost since you've gone  
Why not me before you?  
Why did fate deceive me?  
Everything turned out so wrong  
Why did you leave me in silence?

He still hurt when he thought of her. Still thought, why did it have to be her? Why couldn't this have happened to one of his exes? Why couldn't he just be happy? Why did she have to leave?

_You gave up the fight  
You left me behind  
All that's done's forgiven  
You'll always be mine  
I know deep inside  
All that's done's forgiven_

She couldn't handle it, the pain of loosing her father, the need to find his killer. It was too much to handle when she had to hide it from him; she knew she couldn't keep him out, but she had to protect him from being dragged down with her. She knew he would move on, probably never forgive her, and she couldn't blame him. She would never see him again, but he would always be hers, in her mind. And she would love him forever.

* * *

**Yay! I updated! Did you like it? Took me forever to think of, so I hope you did, though, admittedly, it's not my best. PLEASE REVIEW, and I promise I'll update!**

**Longest one yet! Whoo-hoo!**


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